Nathan and I made a commitment to one another 17 years ago that I’ve come to think of as the key to our joy in marriage.
Our commitment was to create a “good enough” marriage. I had been married and divorced, Nathan new to serious relationships and we both wanted a life that felt meaningful, but ordinary. This took both perfection and dysfunction off the table for us in a way that made room for a life we could get creative with and through.
Good enough meant leaning into a healthy dose of optimism that kept us from denial and regrets.
We created a place where both us could safely land, and as opportunities presented themselves we moved into doing good enough, even better.
Allowing ourselves to settle on good enough in our marriage made way for real freedom in our individual lives, work, and parenting.
We’ve been able to say no or step away from what might have been really great things because deep down we knew they would keep us from accepting the good enough that was especially for us.
I wouldn’t change a thing about the last 17 years and look forward to all the good enough’s that are waiting for us in the future.
This is a portrait of Michelle Howell, a hardworking farmwife, mother of five, author, and advocate. On the left side of the bust you can read text from the poem “Anyway” that was on a wall of Mother Teresa’s home for children in Calcutta, India. “If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.” “The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.”
Leslie Nichols, Artist